What is domestic violence
Domestic violence is behavior in which one person attempts to control another through threats or actual tactics.
Domestic violence includes:
Physical abuse
- pushing, throwing, kicking
- slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching, beating, tripping, battering, bruising, choking, shaking
- pinching, biting
- holding, restraining, confinement
- breaking bones
- assault with a weapon such as a knife or gun
- burning
- murder
Emotional (verbal or nonverbal) abuse
- threatening or intimidating to gain compliance
- destruction of the victim’s personal property and possessions, or threats to do so
- violence to an object (such as a wall or piece of furniture) or pet, in the presence of the intended victim, as
- a way of instilling fear of further violence
- yelling or screaming
- name-calling
- constant harassment
- embarrassing, making fun of, or mocking the victim, either alone within the household, in public, or in front of family or friends
- criticizing or diminishing the victim’s accomplishments or goals
- not trusting the victim’s decision-making
- telling the victim that they are worthless on their own, without the abuser
- excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family
- excessive checking-up on the victim to make sure they are at home or where they said they would be
- saying hurtful things while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and using the substance as an excuse to say the hurtful things
- blaming the victim for how the abuser acts or feels
- making the victim remain on the premises after a fight, or leaving them somewhere else after a fight, just to “teach them a lesson”
- making the victim feel that there is no way out of the relationship
Sexual abuse
- sexual assault: forcing someone to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity
- sexual harassment: ridiculing another person to try to limit their sexuality or reproductive choices
- sexual exploitation (such as forcing someone to look at pornography, or forcing someone to participate in pornographic film-making)
Stalking
- repeated phone calls, sometimes with hang-ups
- following, tracking (possibly even with a global positioning device)
- finding the person through public records, online searching, or paid investigators
- watching with hidden cameras
- suddenly showing up where the victim is, at home, school, or work
- sending emails; communicating in chat rooms or with instant messaging
- sending unwanted packages, cards, gifts, or letters
- monitoring the victim’s phone calls or computer-use
- contacting the victim’s friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors to find out about the victim
- going through the victim’s garbage
- threatening to hurt the victim or their family, friends, or pets
- damaging the victim’s home, car, or other property
Economic or financial abuse
- withholding economic resources such as money or credit cards
- stealing from or defrauding a partner of money or assets
- exploiting the intimate partner’s resources for personal gain
- withholding physical resources such as food, clothes, necessary medications, or shelter from a partner
- preventing the spouse or intimate partner from working or choosing an occupation
Spiritual abuse
- using the spouse’s or intimate partner’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate them
- preventing the partner from practicing their religious or spiritual beliefs
- ridiculing the other person’s religious or spiritual beliefs
- forcing the children to be reared in a faith that the partner has not agreed to
Facts
- In Texas, more than 186,868 family violence incidents are reported annually
- 80% of all physical abuse goes unreported
- 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men in the United States report abuse by an intimate partner in their lifetime
- 3.3 million children witness their mothers being abused
- Intimate partner violence, which includes teen dating violence, costs the US economy $12.6 billion dollars on an annual basis. Sexual assault is most costly of all crimes to its victims.
Warning signs of an abusive partner:
- Extreme jealousy
- Controlling behavior
- Quick involvement
- Unpredictable mood swings
- Isolates you from friends and family
- Uses force during an argument
- Shows hypersensitivity
- Believes in rigid gender roles
- Blames others for his problems or feelings
- Cruel to animals or children
- Verbally abusive or threatens violence
- Abused former partners
Prevent:
- Respect a person’s right to say “NO”…
- Educate yourself and others on the issues…
- Believe in equality…
- Volunteer at your local domestic violence and/or rape crisis program…
- Be aware of how violence is portrayed in the media…
- Believe survivors…
- Contact your legislators and political leaders…
- Know the statistics…
- Speak out against all forms of violence…
- Stop yourself and others from supporting and ignoring sexual/domestic violence…
